Tag Archive | Set backs

Expectations and Disappointment

Welcome to poorly house … not me this time but ma wee boy … he has become known as the smelly hobbit today because he has a small tummy upset – sorry make that large – but it doesn’t put him off eating!  So we haven’t been out and tomorrow he will be on starvation diet to clear him up … I won’t describe everything that has emerged from him but it does include a furry toy and a mat he made of fresh grass!

So moving swiftly on!  I have been continuing with my interior design stuff:

I managed to make an outdoors that I was happy with – the scenery photo worked!  But as soon as I moved inside the outside view became bleached out …

I have never had this issue with the scenery function in the design site and so my expectations have always been of getting great scenes through the windows … this weekend I have been disappointed.   Read More…

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Harum Scarum …

harum-scarum [ˈhɛərəmˈskɛərəm]

adj & adv – in a reckless way or of a reckless nature
n – a person who is impetuous or rash

[perhaps from hare (in obsolete sense: harass) + scare, variant of stare1; compare helter-skelter]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

… or in today’s example it was not people being reckless but daft dogs!

Had a slow start to he morning – still feeling a little unfocussed.  Set off in good spirits though with two dogs  and wearing a clean fresh set of clothes.  We did much better on the lead walking for the most part and headed to the beech wood.  We would have done really well except we met another dog on the way which just appeared in front of us with no warning and then disappeared again.  Dog got up on his toes with excitement.  Eventually the dog reappeared with two people – there is a sign saying dogs mus be kept under control at all times on the estate and yet there they were just letting it run up the road well in front of them! Read More…

So That was 2012?

How was 2012 for each of you?  Of course I know some of the answers from those who are friends as well as readers – but if you are a reader who I haven’t yet ‘met’ I hope you might like to share your 2012.

I thought I would revisit my 2012 using quotes and photographs – but I have split this into two posts so that the gallery of photographs stands alone:

Before I started this blog I had earlier in the year spent some time taking pictures of:

Panmure Passage

Time spent discovering Dundee (City of Discovery) – this sculpture is hidden on the new Quay development; we should be showing it off

Underneath the Tay Road Bridge looking towards Fife … more brown than silvery that Tay!

Demolishing Tayside House

Preparing for a new iconic building – the new V&A

However, in parallel with the demolition of redundant bits of Dundee, my serenity was almost zero … stress was demolishing me

So I started a journey to find the serenity that was missing in my life using Stagecoach East Scotland Megarider tickets and my Camera and lots of walking.  Plus when it was windy enough taking along my kites.

Along the way I have been collecting quotes on my Pinterest Boards which you can visit if you wish here and making designs at MyDeco and of course sharing my photographs.

Although my bus travel is at a standstill just now I have anew energy dragging me along in life … young Pup has come to be a companion to getting older Dog and me.

And my camera has not had such a workout since it was new with my current challenge being taking good moon pictures when the biggest digital zoom I can get is 300mm and my tripod is out of commission.

Tomorrow I will share with you my hopes and dreams for 2013 but tonight I will close my 2012 blog with the last sunset of 2012 and the Moon tonight:

Moon only just clearing the house rooflines

The gallery post will follow in just a moment … Happy New year to you all and may 2013 bring you the love of family and friends, prosperity and good health.

Rules of Sick Puppies

Apparently next time I am unwell I am allowed to trash someone else’s precious book …

Torn Book

Pup had the runs during the night and opted to sleep the rest of the night in Big Dog Bed, which Dog very kindly accommodated.  Then he had another upset at 7 this morning so he has been on the rice diet today.  He doesn’t approve and he has been out of sorts, bumptious and grumpy with the end result that he took it out on my book.

I on the other hand got about 25 minutes sleep because I was listening out for him, so I am tired and grumpy … bumptious? not so much!  End result – I did not rip up a book … I mopped, cleaned floors, cleaned bowls, put water down, cooked rice, made chicken stock and looked at the depressingly slow rate of new job adverts on the Job Centre site.

Pup has had supper and is now snoring … before long he will be snoring in his digloo and I will be getting an early night.  Fortunately no demanding people encountered today and the rain was not as bad as predicted.  But I am frustrated because I was going to make the few Christmas cards that I need to send and now I will be up to the wore for last posting times.  I won’t be able to print my seaglass trees so they will have to be used next year and I will have to papercraft the cards from my stash … it will feel odd since I usually make one unique design that is only ever used for one Christmas season.  People who can get an online card will be getting the design featuring Dog and Pup – but you will have to wait for it to appear here …

A Mad Sad World …

If you joined me yesterday I ended pondering how to retrieve some serenity after Toxic’s latest outburst.  Before I could set that in motion this morning I had a visitor.  Having just finished breakfast (which takes a long time with Pup to supervise between toasty bites) I was still in my PJs and unwashed.  The person at the door was also still in their PJs and dressing gown; this person is from my community and so I opened the door and she almost knocked over me and Dog as she pushed her way in.  She was only semi coherent and kept starting her sentences and then changing them.

I know that she suffers from Bipolar disorder and it was fairly obvious to me she is in the throes of a manic episode … in her this often presents as religious zeal and a belief that she can right the wrongs of the world.  She wants to have  another go at righting the wrong done three years ago that I mentioned in my post on 2 December she wants to make the Minister and others involved apologise to me.  I have told her in the past that I am not seeking an apology I have walked away because too many have been hurt and it must stop now.  I repeated this gently since it was obvious she is not herself.  I would have liked to ask if she had missed some medication or was aware of her mania but I don’t feel I know her well enough to ask something so personal.

She wanted me to go to the church with her this morning so she could have the wrong righted.  I said I would not be going and she then tried to get me to go to a different church and I told her I did not wish to attend any organised church and felt I would likely never do so; faith sustains me but religion no longer does.  She departed to get dressed saying if I changed my mind … Read More…

Open Letter to my Friends

alchemillaEuphorbia in the HowffBleeding Heart Plant

Dear Friends

This has been on my mind the past little while and I have tried to do what I normally do and keep my irritation to myself.  It is not working though because I feel as if you are finding it hard to know what to do or say to me as I work my way through a tight spot.

I cannot bring myself to criticise any of you so I am writing to you as a collective, even though you are each distinct and do not know one another.  Some little bits of what I will mention apply to different ones of you on different days.

  1. I am out of work – I am still me; my job was not my whole life.  You are not responsbile for this and I don’t hold you so; I am glad that you have your jobs at a time when good jobs are hidden like the proverbial needle in a haystack
  2. I am allowed to make choices; whether good or bad – I appreciate when you offer me insight so I can make informed choices but I am less happy if you suddenly assume you know what my choice should be
  3. I will have down days and good days – I have always had down days and good days and for most of my life the good far outweighs the down; if I am having a down day please just treat me the same as you did when I had a down day 6 months ago
  4. When I mention to you, openly and honestly, my financial situation – I AM NOT asking for money; I am responsible for myself and for getting myself back on my feet.  Your open and honest empathy will be most welcome as usual
  5. If I should refer to an outcome of my financial situation, I AM NOT asking for money; I am not ashamed of the lack of luxury in my life just now (it will probably do me good for a while) and I am not in the habit of being deceitful with you
  6. If I choose to spare you some worry by not sharing or I request a little space – I haven’t stopped caring about you or trusting you; I don’t need to be checked up on like an infant who might have quietly woken and be climbing from it’s cot
  7. I am aware I am not the centre of your worlds, you all have your own problems and worries to address, your work to go to, your families to care for  and your own joys to celebrate; but when you say you will call or catch up with me and don’t I do feel sad.  Not least because whatever my worries and hardships I love to catch up with your life too.
  8. You cannot protect me from the rest of the big bad world forever more …
  9. I miss the random conversations and encouragement of strangers … but most of all I miss the encouragement of my friends who seem to be too scared to speak with me in case they say the wrong thing.

I always try to slip your shoes on for a moment or two or try to look through your eyes … but I am not certain that you are seeing a woman who has dealt with a tough six months, who feels mentally strong, who is trying to be physically well and healthy and who, most of all, is confident in her future and the longevity of her friendships.  That is what I would like you to see because it is who and where I am.

If you see something different then I am very sorry that I am not appearing to you as I truly feel I am … so please just tell me what it is you see rather than tiptoeing around me while we both get more confused?  However I cannot apologise if I am not appearing like the stereotypical person without work and limited resources who sinks into a decline … I might be almost middle aged but I am not washed up with the flotsam and jetsam on life’s beach just yet you know!

I grew up loving the JRR Tolkein novel The Hobbit; it has an alternative title “There and Back Again” and like those pleasant little Hobbitses … I am still on the “There” bit of my journey and counting on my friendly elves, wizards and dwarves to help me out and see me through …

I cherish true friends more than almost anything else on this earth; so I am writing to you from my heart to yours with a small plea for you to treat me just the same as always please.  I love each of you and hold dear the part you play in my life.

Your (unemployed but with plans) friend

euonymoushebeRush Plant

A Two Mile Rainbow

No I am not going to claim that I measured the rainbow … but it stayed around for about 2 miles of my walk today.  In fact since it appeared to reach about two miles ahead of me at all times then the bow would have been more than 2 miles … 

I did manage to catch the no 22 this morning; I stepped off the 20 as the clock showed 07:31 and as soon as I boarded the 22 he switched on his engine and drove off … early!  It achieves nothing since he arrives in Dundee at exactly the same time only instead of bringing 30 or so passengers he just manages 20!  In business terms that equals lost revenue for the company, loss of faith in the bus services, reducing passenger numbers … Read More…

Attila Ovari

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