Hogmanay Memory Lane (Part 2)

I have made a gallery of the most evocative photographs of 2013 for me.  It was Pup’s year and so he features quite a bit.  I had a life changing experience over the summer – represented by two images not previously shared here – the misty morning view of Kirrie Hill was taken the morning I launched the Steps Tay Health walks; I shared that picture with a special person.  The following week I saw this strange start to a rainbow which went on to be a rare double rainbow; I did not find out for a few days but that was the day that special person died – totally unexpectedly.  Three days later there was what I can only describe as a Rainbow storm (15 rainbows in 3 hours many of them double and/or supernumerary).  Finally organising the Christmas Market is represented by the tree and finishing with my boys curled up with the Cairn over the Christmas break.

It has been quite a year all in all.  I am still not in work so financially life remains tough; including having to fight to keep my home and the bank complaint is still not resolved.  The boys have been fantastic company and I wouldn’t have found it as easy to keep going without them both.

I started some studies using Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) and have met people worldwide which has been both amazing and scary.  One of those people was that special person.  I am sad that he has gone but happy that in a few short months we had a friendship filled with sharing, laughter and open communication – we both knew that we chatted because we each wanted to and there were no taboo topics of conversation.  I finally succeeded in not placing any conditions on another person and I have never missed someone so greatly when we were not actually chatting.

After he died some friends seem to have faded away – not sure whether they cannot cope with my feelings or they don’t know how to respond.  I always miss friends when this happens but I am not chasing after them so if they are choosing to walk a different path I wish them well and hope they will be happy.

Overall I have  a lot to be thankful for and this song has really stuck out for me these past few days …

There are two people I would love to share this with … but one of them I no longer can and the other, having shared the journey through life and grief for  a few weeks has now struck out on his own path … I will let my thankful heart sing out the song in the hope that he might hear it and know it is from me.

“Thankful”

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can’t see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see.
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves
There’s so much sorrow
It’s way too late to say
I’ll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It’s so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for 
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences 
There is a place we’re all connected
Each of us can find each other’s light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for 
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There’s so much to be thankful for

Part of the reason I am able to be thankful despite the struggles is because I set out to find and learn from Serenity.  It has helped immensely and I have  aboard on Pinterest to keep reminding me of this.  For 2014 my OLW is “Successful” and I already have a board to represent this.  My dreams and plans of starting the hostel are still there but so are the challenges to overcome in getting started – including someone else considering purchasing the building.  I have to focus on getting some income and then hope I can still proceed with the hostel but if that building goes I can at least adapt my plan to another community, although that will feel sad after I have fought so hard to stay in this community.

So farewell 2013 … and bring it on 2014.  And to each of you (as they say hereabout) Lang may your lum reek …

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About nonehpets

I have an interest in how interior design and adapting a home to support living independently for longer can be complementary. The blog Life Long Design is part of an holistic plan for establishing a social enterprise which will offer the people of Tayside opportunities to explore Telecare and the wider scope of assistive technologies. Enabling individuals to make more informed and responsible choices in the care and support they need in their independent living. I am also keen to see public transport more widely adopted and sustainable rural bus services in particular supported. The Blog Travels with a Megarider shares my journey to find serenity in my life as I make that transition form employment to social entrepreneur. One of my methods in increasing serenity is to travel as many miles as I can on a fixed price bus ticket and explore my own local places of interest. Places that I used to go past and had never stopped to look at; places of peace and tranquility; places where I have had some wonderful conversations with complete strangers. I would like to share with you a response to when I described that one paragraph in an e-mail made it sound simple: "Believe me, Cathy, it does not sound simple. You are taking on an incredible challenge for all the right reasons. It is ambitious and admirable - the sort of project that can change lives, including yours." He is right it is ambitious but when did we every achieve anything by settling for the status quo and ignoring what doesn't work for people? So I would welcome your company from time to time on this journey either simply as a reader or if you are brave enough adding your own thoughts to the comments as you feel moved.

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