A few weeks ago I relayed to someone that I was not that keen to visit family for Christmas because their house is always hot and noisy and I always feel that my dogs are the problem because they do not see that their constant noisy bickering means their dogs are not as well behaved as they could be and mine get caught in the cross-fire.
Anyway the person I relayed that to had a few more exchanges of e-mails with me and then just didn’t reply. This makes me sad especially when it is someone who is aware of my ethos in corresponding with friends and my beliefs about not controlling other people or making them choose certain behaviours. So several weeks have passed with no communication from this person and I miss them a little … but in the scheme of my life it is not causing me anxiety or something that has destroyed my life.
Today I am indeed staying with family … the house is incredibly hot; the noise is unbelievable (the TV or radio have to be on full volume; their dogs bark often and there is noisy bickering much of the day) and my dogs have become scapegoats. I feel like I cannot leave my dogs in a room unattended incase either they get let out of the room by family and then I have to go round them back up or they are getting a constant stream of correction in a high pitched voice.
There is a constant enquiry about whether food or drinks are required and we still have not accepted my dietary choices. It is all very tiring and I have spent most of the past two days sitting at the kitchen table to keep my dogs in as calm an environment as I can. This evening my ankles are swollen (from being in the same position all day I guess).
During the day a stream of phone calls from various people have resulted in those other families being criticised for their behaviour. This evening our Christmas meal is served. Now please note I prepared all the veggies so that the cook only had the meat to sort out. The meal arrived with complaints about having to cook the meal and never enjoying it. Then after dessert (which I also made) I was left sitting at the dining table alone while they argued over loading the dishwasher.
Just before the meal I got an e-card from my AWOL correspondent; yet I have had no messages from others who usually do send them. I don’t know how to respond to the e-card … if I engage then I have to be prepared to get it thrown back in my face but I was brought up to show good manners and I don’t feel I can just ignore it but can I hide my feelings? I don’t know if the sender celebrates Christmas …
I cannot change the family and I will just have to bite my tongue …
I need sleep now but I will let you know what I do to address the e-card issue …………………….