I had a Snowdrop …

… I would post a picture BUT someone ate it … someone black and furry with a waggy tail!  Someone called Pup ate my snowdrop.

I woke up feeling a little better, having been allowed a long lie by Pup and then we opened the door to snow, sleet, rain and a cold wind on top of the dog yard mud bath.  Doing what dogs do before breakfast was a fast turnaround – they didn’t want to be out in  it anymore than I did.  The weather has been like that all day with some really heavy downpours and although it probably isn’t much colder than yesterday just seeing and hearing the rain makes me shiver.  The floors are wet and muddy and there is no point mopping it every time they go out or we will end up with slips and injuries.

I have tried to be low key and conserve energy today … I feel tired and weepy which I think is due to several things:

  • Diet:  To afford enough food I am eating mostly refined carbs; I don;’t like them they don’t taste nice and they make me tired, grumpy and crave sweet things.  Yes things like lentils and quinoa are cheapish sources of proteins and complex carbs but they don’t taste of much on their own and I am limited in flavourings within the budget.  Fruit and veggies have become a luxury – partly because their prices are so high after last years poor harvest.  I am sure I have blogged about this before but I am used to eating up to 10 portions of fruit and beg every day and my body is missing the bulk form that and all the lovely fresh vitamins that come from them.  At least I am not dehydrated since a hot cup of green tea or sugar free fruit squash s a perfect regular warmer upper.
  • Monotony: I have enough food every week but the variety is very limited.  Basically a chicken, carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, bread, milk, cheese, coffee, tea, green tea, lentils, couscous, quinoa, haricot beans, baked beans, tinned tomatoes, marmite, oatcakes, apples, green veg (once a week), mushrooms.  It is nutrition but it is boring nutrition.
  • The weather: We have had some milder days this week which has let me get out and about on foot – both with and without the dogs; but then we keep having these wet cold days when the dog yard is horrid and the mud gets walked in … I know this will stop and the weather will improve but it feels like forever just now.  It also means I haven’t seen the moon for days now and ridiculous as it sounds I miss it.
  • Dry/chapped skin: My hands are finally healing after the puppy nicks which got sore and chapped but my knees, whilst not getting worse are not improving either.  I am trying organic extra virgin coconut oil now to try and moisturise and protect my skin. (not out of my limited budget I bought it ages ago and then didn’t know what to do with it!).  Of course this isn’t helped when my clothes get wet and muddy because of the weather.  My feet are faring much better despite my boots frequently leaking.
  • Wet washing: Again because of the weather everything has to go through the dryer … this means half the load hanging around damp waiting while the first half gets dried.  Sometimes that means catching Pup as he tries to steal it for a cuddle … he doesn’t damage anything of mine but he does like to borrow it and snuggle.
  • The Bank: My Mortgage Company are being professional and my weekly phone call with them is a bit of a downer but it is civil and not a battleground.  The Bank on the other hand have been difficult form the beginning and just the thought of communication with them makes me miserable.  I know it is not just me – I know other people who bank with them who have hassle at one time or another.
  • Toxic: being toxic and selfish.
  • My Computer is close to it’s limits so I am having to regularly clear off the temporary files and so on just to keep it going and move all my photos to the  external hard drive.  I have just had to cancel the very good virus software which is due for renewal and will have to go back to the free version – which is also good but I will miss the few enhancements I have just now.
  • I put several subscriptions into hibernation and they are coming up to their limit so I will have to cancel those services and then reinstate them later
  • My mobile Phone Upgrade: As of Friday I am eligible for an upgrade … but without an income I won;t be able to get that either. The Streak that I have is intermittently crashing and the button is ‘dodgy’ so I don’t know how long I can keep that going … choosing my new phone at upgrade is always an exciting thing for me.

There is other stuff as well but these are the recurring themes.  I cannot do much about most of them and I guess it is just getting me down a little and hormones added into the mix don’t help!  Male readers won’t get this next bit at all – but ladies you know you are living within strict means when even sanitary protection is subject to rationing – thank goodness for a Moon Cup is all I can say (Diva Cup if you are stateside).

I have two visits to the job centre this week – to see my advisor tomorrow (they pay my bus fare for that one) when I can also pop into Tesco and use my £4 Clubcard vouchers for some dog biscuits, milk and butter.  Then on Wednesday I sign on which they don’t pay the bus fare for.  Both those days I will try to take Pup on the bus but if it is so wet and horrid I might have to review that.

On Tuesday I do have a highlight to look forward to; Mother has organised a food delivery for me including some nuts, veggies, apples, chicken and fish and a bottle of wine.  One of the things I cannot wait to do when I have an income again is something nice for my parents – I have an idea but will keep it to myself just in case they should trip over the blog!

Since I haven’t been out today I am going to add some photos I took the other day of some little waves … I was playing with the shutter timings on the camera and got some really nice variations of the same piece of water:


I’ll get over this little dip in a day or so and until then I get to go on the buses a few days this coming week … but right now, after spending time looking at Community Council online stuff I think I have had enough puter wrestling for another day and I am going to get  some sleep and look forward to the snowdrops appearing outside the dog yard where Pup cannot reach them.


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About nonehpets

I have an interest in how interior design and adapting a home to support living independently for longer can be complementary. The blog Life Long Design is part of an holistic plan for establishing a social enterprise which will offer the people of Tayside opportunities to explore Telecare and the wider scope of assistive technologies. Enabling individuals to make more informed and responsible choices in the care and support they need in their independent living. I am also keen to see public transport more widely adopted and sustainable rural bus services in particular supported. The Blog Travels with a Megarider shares my journey to find serenity in my life as I make that transition form employment to social entrepreneur. One of my methods in increasing serenity is to travel as many miles as I can on a fixed price bus ticket and explore my own local places of interest. Places that I used to go past and had never stopped to look at; places of peace and tranquility; places where I have had some wonderful conversations with complete strangers. I would like to share with you a response to when I described that one paragraph in an e-mail made it sound simple: "Believe me, Cathy, it does not sound simple. You are taking on an incredible challenge for all the right reasons. It is ambitious and admirable - the sort of project that can change lives, including yours." He is right it is ambitious but when did we every achieve anything by settling for the status quo and ignoring what doesn't work for people? So I would welcome your company from time to time on this journey either simply as a reader or if you are brave enough adding your own thoughts to the comments as you feel moved.

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